Archive for the ‘Laugh until you cry…’ Category

The lady doth protest too much, methinks

While all the demos complain about Bain Capital, it seems they invest and trust the company to guard over and grow their money.  Want to see who’s money is invested in Bain, go here:

Bain Capital

Who Did I Miss?

I just received my tax return for 2011 back from the IRS. It puzzles me!!! 

They are questioning how many dependents I claimed. I guess it was because of my response to the question: “List all dependents?” 

I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 42 million unemployed people on food stamps, 2 million people in over 243 prisons; Half of Mexico; and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate.” 1 useless President. 

Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.

I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO DID I MISS?

Run, Run, Run….

Dave Barry

“The best way to understand this whole issue
is to look at what the government does:
it takes money from some people, keeps a bunch of it,
and gives the rest to other people.”
– Dave Barry
(1947- ) Humorist

Obama Uncovered (Funny Video)

Obama uncovered (video)

 

Jodi Miller, News Busted

Jodi Miller, News Busted

Light at the end of the tunnel… Joke:

EMPLOYEE NOTICE
**********************
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. 

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFTprogram (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and  SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREWprogram (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED  as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED anyfurther by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount ofSHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS – Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.