Archive for the ‘Laugh until you cry…’ Category

As ye sow, so shall ye reap….

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Came to me on the net:
Dear Employees:
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact  that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government  fees will increase in a BIG way.  To compensate for these increases, our  prices would have to increase by about 10%.  But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal  state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.   This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.
So, this is what I did.  I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘Obama’ bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go.  I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem.  They voted for change…….I gave it to them.
I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

Copulating In The Classroom – Professor J. Michael Bailey

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Copulating In The Classroom, Professor Bailey

Peep Shows And Artificial Peckers with Professor J. Michael Bailey

Or I could go on and on…

Free Medical Care….

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If you can’t afford a doctor, go to an airport – you’ll get a free x-ray and a breast exam, and; if you mention Al Qaeda, you’ll get a free colonoscopy !

Good for a laugh…

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The internet, if nothing else, is good for a laugh.  It’s getting hard to listen to a joke from a friend without just having seen it on the net.  And if laughter truly is the best medicine, then we’re all getting more and more healthy.

This just came to me:

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse.

An astute observation from the L. A. Times

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“Frankly, I don’t know what it is about California, but we seem to have a strange urge to elect really obnoxious women to high office.  I’m not bragging, you understand, but no other state, including Maine, even comes close. When it comes to sending left-wing dingbats to Washington, we’re number one.
There’s no getting around the fact that the last time anyone saw the likes of Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Maxine Waters, and Nancy Pelosi, they were stirring a cauldron when the curtain went up on ‘Macbeth’.  The four of them are like jackasses who happen to possess the gift of blab. You don’t know if you should condemn them for their stupidity or simply marvel at their ability to form words.”

–columnist Burt Prelutsky,  LA Times

You gotta love Volkswagen…my favorite commercial!

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New International Terror Alerts :-)

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The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.  Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

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